For my last issue, I thought it would be fun to wrap up all of my previous anecdotes into a mad ball of proverbial furry. WWU, thanks for being such a great entity to write for. I salute you. You have filled my heart with warm, cuddly feelings. So, here we go!Don’t even think about hiding that ASWWU bike. Don’t get suckered into joining the Booster Club, you’ll never go to the games anyway. CPPD, what would we do without you? Oh yeah, not get pulled over. When life gets tough, never give up, and never surrender! Craigslist is not that bad. Don’t let college rob you of your inner child. When Communion rolls around, take more than one wafer; you only live once. Engineers, don’t worry about being single; your stock is going up. Ladies, your stock is going down. Cottage cheese is actually delicious and good for you. Tool shots are stupid and only for tools. We’re going to have to explain to our children what VHS cassettes were (weird). Gentlemen, don’t be afraid to ask that foxy lady out on a date; you’re in college now. Ladies, live a little and say yes. Treasure your embarrassing moments, for they are the moments in life that make it worth living. If you’re a Badventist, that’s OK, Jesus still loves you; just don’t ever make out on McVay’s desk. Chivalry is not dead. Be more creative. Always question authority. Don’t let mediocrity get the better of you – you have awesome potential. CommUnity needs some serious reformation (and getting married shouldn’t have to solve it). Take advantage of April Fools, especially if a lot of people read what you write. Human beings were made to survive – when you’re in a tight situation, win it like Charlie Sheen, MacGuyver and Chuck Norris combined. YouTube is awesome. WWU is way better than Southern or PUC. Be excellent to each other. Farmville is the devil’s playground. And finally, never, ever, put limitations on your imagination; for it is the transportation unit that propels you through life.
Love you guys,
Brendan Hay
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