Oh where, oh where, have the ASWWU bikes gone?

"I want to ride my bicycle, I want to ride my bike! I want to ride my bicycle, I want to ride it where I like!” Seriously, Freddie Mercury couldn’t have said it any better. In today’s age, there are lovers of money and lovers of power, but here at WWU, we get greedy over those flaming orange magic carpets. My friend Michael Vier, Sophomore Electrical Engineering, was on his way to the cafeteria from Sittner Hall really wishing he could nab a quick ride on an ASWWU bike. While passing by Rigby, he spotted one and went over to it, only to find it CHAINED TO A BIKE RACK. If that wasn’t enough vexation, he later found one conveniently hidden behind a parked car. Now, I confess, I’ve entertained the thought of hiding an ASWWU bike for convenient later use (and I’m sure you have too), but chaining one to a bike rack? Isn’t that just a little over the top? I know, why don’t you just get a shovel and dig a hole and bury the doggone thing? Or if that’s too much trouble, you could paint the whole thing an ugly grey and if anyone was to suspiciously inquire you could say it was given to you by a sweet elderly lady for carrying her groceries. Seriously, it never hurt to be a little creative…

And now it’s time for “Really?!” with Brendan Hay.

Alright, so Alban’s really is not really my style, but I just couldn’t pass this one up. So here it goes. Ahem. Really ASWWU??? You left the Spring Jam T-shirt table unattended so just anybody could grab a shirt? Don’t you know those shirts were just for the bands? What were you thinking?! Congratulations ASWWU. Only about five people that played at Spring Jam actually got a T-shirt. I mean really…

Verbatim

‘I tried to get all the nude people to be the ships, and then direct them.’ MONTY BUELL, attempting to explain the Battle of Trafalgar to his family while vacationing in Spain, and awkwardly being flanked by nude beach-goers while doing so.