“Not to 50!!!”

Alright, no more funny business — things are about to get a little dicey. With Week of Worship in our rearview mirrors, we’re no longer protected by Campus Ministries’ orb of spiritual emphasis. Henceforth, professors no longer feel guilty about inflicting the most amount of brain pain possible. “Not to 50!!!” As Count Rugen from the movie classic, “The Princess Bride,” would surely put it. So, it’s time to “batten down the hatches” and (groan) put on the study gloves. But before you put my BackTalk down, or open this newspaper up, I’m going to leave you with an inspirational bit from Edgar Guest, the People’s Poet, to help boost your motivation meter.

Somebody said that it couldn't be done, but he with a chuckle replied that "maybe it couldn't," but he would be one who wouldn't say so ‘til he'd tried. So he buckled right in with the trace of a grin on his face. If he worried he hid it. He started to sing as he tackled the thing that couldn't be done, and he did it. Somebody scoffed: "Oh, you'll never do that; at least no one ever has done it"; but he took off his coat and he took off his hat, and the first thing we knew he'd begun it. With a lift of his chin and a bit of a grin, without any doubting or quiddit, he started to sing as he tackled the thing that couldn't be done, and he did it. There are thousands to tell you it cannot be done, there are thousands to prophesy failure; there are thousands to point out to you one by one, the dangers that wait to assail you. But just buckle in with a bit of a grin, just take off your coat and go to it; just start to sing as you tackle the thing that "cannot be done," and you'll do it.

Super Troopers

I consider myself one of the lucky ones. I’m a senior, and I have yet to receive that dreaded slip of paper from the notorious squad of peace protectors; the College Place City Police. Sure, I’ve been pulled over a couple of times for creeping past a stop sign and the occasional jaywalking (yes, you can get pulled over while you’re walking), but somehow I’ve always managed to walk away unscathed. You’ll find it’s a longstanding tradition here at WWU to share your personal encounters involving the College Place cops with your friends. Just ask WWU alumnus Lance Davis or sophomore automotive technology major Kurt Lamberton and they’ll keep you entertained for a good half hour. So, what’s the best kind of cop story? It’s simple. The best stories are the ones involving an element of surprise.

Last Friday after vespers, the Bechtels were hosting their weekly smoothie night. Things were starting to get a little rowdy though as the party approached 45 guests. Now, we all know College Place likes its peace and quiet, so it wasn’t long before the fuzz came knocking at the Bechtels’ door. In front of the house, an officer stopped a bewildered Austin Nystrom, Spanish/theology major, from going back into the Bechtels’ home. Austin quickly explained he’d forgotten his Bible inside. No doubt skeptical to Austin’s excuse, and thinking they were just about to break up a royal flush of a kegger, the anxious officers entered the house. However to their dismay, not one drop of alcohol was found. Instead they were met with 45 WWU students getting ready to sing a rousing chorus of “King Jesus is All”. Sadly, the religious experience of Christian fellowship was disbanded, but the irony still lingers. I just can’t help imagine what was going through those three officers’ heads. “Those crazy Adventists…”

Ready. Set. Go!

So, once again that time of year is upon us. Whether you’re ready or not, it’s here! Perhaps you’ve been eagerly anticipating the college comeback, or maybe you’ve been dreading the return of all things academic (like me). First off, I’d like to say welcome back to all the returning students. Secondly, I’d like to extend an even warmer welcome to all you freshmen that have chosen (or maybe not have chosen) College Place as your provisional place of residence over the next eight months. Freshmen, allow me to let you in on a little secret. College is actually not that bad. In fact, some of you may like it. To all those ex-boarding students out there, no longer will your lights be turned off at 8:00 pm. No longer will you be forced to wear dress socks to church. No longer will you flee to the shadows when you want to spend some special time with your significant other. Sure, you may make some mistakes now and then, like speeding down College Avenue or getting suckered in to joining the Booster Club, but fortunately, college is a good place to learn from mistakes.

It’s true, the first week of school is a messy pot of mixed emotions: all those classic awkward silences in the cafeteria, the stress from not being entirely settled in, or the haunting belief that you’ll never see a “jumping Einstein” (on more of a side note, I’d still like to know who birthed the idea of a fat little jumping Einstein). On the other hand, you’re excited to see friends and you’ve no doubt been eyeing the “new prospects”. So why do I like WWU? It’s simple. It’s cliché. I like WWU because of the type of people it breeds. Better watch out! This Adventist institution of higher education may grow on you.

Oh where, oh where, have the ASWWU bikes gone?

"I want to ride my bicycle, I want to ride my bike! I want to ride my bicycle, I want to ride it where I like!” Seriously, Freddie Mercury couldn’t have said it any better. In today’s age, there are lovers of money and lovers of power, but here at WWU, we get greedy over those flaming orange magic carpets. My friend Michael Vier, Sophomore Electrical Engineering, was on his way to the cafeteria from Sittner Hall really wishing he could nab a quick ride on an ASWWU bike. While passing by Rigby, he spotted one and went over to it, only to find it CHAINED TO A BIKE RACK. If that wasn’t enough vexation, he later found one conveniently hidden behind a parked car. Now, I confess, I’ve entertained the thought of hiding an ASWWU bike for convenient later use (and I’m sure you have too), but chaining one to a bike rack? Isn’t that just a little over the top? I know, why don’t you just get a shovel and dig a hole and bury the doggone thing? Or if that’s too much trouble, you could paint the whole thing an ugly grey and if anyone was to suspiciously inquire you could say it was given to you by a sweet elderly lady for carrying her groceries. Seriously, it never hurt to be a little creative…

And now it’s time for “Really?!” with Brendan Hay.

Alright, so Alban’s really is not really my style, but I just couldn’t pass this one up. So here it goes. Ahem. Really ASWWU??? You left the Spring Jam T-shirt table unattended so just anybody could grab a shirt? Don’t you know those shirts were just for the bands? What were you thinking?! Congratulations ASWWU. Only about five people that played at Spring Jam actually got a T-shirt. I mean really…

Verbatim

‘I tried to get all the nude people to be the ships, and then direct them.’ MONTY BUELL, attempting to explain the Battle of Trafalgar to his family while vacationing in Spain, and awkwardly being flanked by nude beach-goers while doing so.

Tangerine

A boy with a girl came in tonight

To dodge the December Cold.

He proposed she pick a treat to eat

So she picked one as she was told.

A dime was all it cost you see

But he paid with so much more.

Up on the counter he produced a nickel

And a big round juicy orb.

I looked into his eyes and witnessed payment along with plea.

Right then I did see Love--in the form of a tangerine.

A boy with a girl came in tonight

To dodge the December Cold.

Brazil

Our last school trip was to Rio de Janeiro, Brazil. After this trip, I could honestly say that I was getting a little tired of traveling. By now I have seen (it seems) the majority of South America. And with just a little over a month of school left, I am ready to come home! But don’t get me wrong, Brazil was fantastic. Rio de Janeiro itself was a city unlike any other. The landscape was very unique in itself. Rio is surrounded by tall dome-like mountains, beaches, and inlets. It’s anything but flat. Yet somehow they manage to squeeze millions of people into the compact “favelas”, which are the endless shanytowns that cover the surrounding hills as far as the eye can see. When I came back to the UAP, I talked with some Brazilians about Rio and they said that it's really violent and the police don’t even go into the favelas. Then they went on how Rio was the most dangerous city in Brazil, even more than São Paulo. I just kind of stood there, nodding my head, imagining myself being sold into slavery or getting stabbed to death. My wild imagination was put to rest when they said things like that usually only happen in the bad parts of town. I just gave a nervous laugh and replied, “Oh that’s good.” Our hotel was right on Copacabana Beach in one of the more touristy spots, so we turned out to be quite fine. Although some of the others were saying two blocks down was the biggest brothel in South America. I don’t really know if that was true, or if it was an exaggeration, but one thing was for sure--I saw prostitutes everywhere! I guess prostitution is very legal in Brazil.

So Brazil was quite a bit different from its nieghboring country that I have spent most of my time in (Argentina). Brazil is huge. Out of all of South America it probably has the strongest economy (however Chile's is the most stable), yet Brazil has a tremendous amount of poverty. I found this to be very true, seeing homeless children everywhere roaming the streets and begging for food. As glamorous as the city was, there definitely was a very unattractive side.

The two big things to see in Rio are Christ the Redeemer and the Sugarloaf. Christ the Redeemer is an enormous statue, roughly the size of the Statue of Liberty, that rests upon the top of Corcovado Mountain with its arms outstreched in sort of a "blessing-the-city" position. Sugarloaf Mountain (or just Sugarloaf), is a picturesque dome-like mountain that juts out of the water at the end of the city. Unfortunately due to some bad weather, it was difficult to appreciate Christ the Redeemer at its finest, but even with the clouds it was still pretty neat.Standing on the other side of the city and seeing a giant statue of Jesus overlooking the city with his arms stretched out is a pretty cool sight.Looking up at the statueEl Pan de Azúcar (The Surgarloaf). Interestly enough, explorers named it after a dessert.This shot gives you an idea of how perfectly shaped it is.They say that at the base of this tree, Vinicius de Moraes wrote out the lyrics to "The Girl from Ipanema" (it's located in a big nature park within the city). I thought that was pretty neat.Copacabana Beach! Right in front of our hotel. Yes, everyone does wear a speedo too. It's normal to walk around downtown in your swimsuit--even if it only covers 2% of you body.On the beach! You can see the Sugarloaf in the background.

Next stop: The United States!

Around the Horn

As “Spring break” approached us here in the Southern hemisphere, plans started to formulate within the different groups of students. While I was in Peru I started to weigh my options. I really wanted to go to Patagonia (Southern South America) but after hearing the average price of that trip from those who went over Christmas, I was a little squeamish. Later my friend Nich approached me and said, “Hey man, let’s go on a cruise around South America!” I thought this was the most retarded thing I had ever heard. Growing up I thought cruises were for old people and the professional spectrum with all the spoiled rich kids. I brushed off the idea pretty quick. However, the next day Nich approached me again. “So dude we already have a group of seven, and we need one more!” I started to think that I should at least look into it. So I did, and as it turned out the prices of a two week cruise around the bottom of South America were better than traveling by land. In fact a lot better! Due to the economic crisis that is supposedly going on at home (remember it started while I was down here!), for some bizarre reason which still does not make sense to me, the dollar has been doing really good in South America. In comparison to past years, traveling/tourism has been really slow—because of the economy. In other words, conditions were perfect! The Norwegian Cruise Line had great slashed off prices.

So now there was a group of eight. We reserved two rooms online through NCL. I was immediately excited! I had never been on a cruise before, so I had no idea what to expect. My friends all said that cruises were super chill and relaxing. Those words were music to my ears! Let me tell you I was ready for some more comfortable traveling. No hostels or bus stations for me thank you! It was a two week cruise from Valparaíso, Chile all the way around the horn and up to Buenos Aires, Argentina. The ship, the Norwegian Sun, stopped in ports all along the way. Among them were my favorites: Punta Arenas, Ushuaia, and the Falkland Islands. The course of the cruise was also a treat in itself. The Norwegian Sun traveled through the Chilean fjords the whole way going south. The views were incredible. I could look out the windows of the ship and see land so barren and so rugged. At times you would think if human life had ever even ventured out to some of those remote fjords. And actually there was one that did I had heard of, and you probably have too—Charles Darwin. Before coming into port of Ushuaia our ship navigated through the Strait of Magellan and the Beagle Channel (my particular favorite of the whole cruise). Imagining sailing ships from the 1800’s like the Beagle in waters such as those and in such a mysterious environment gave me much more appreciation for the average seaman from that era. Joe and Greg, I’d like to think you put a bit of explorer in me by naming me Brendan. Wink wink.

Like we guessed, there was a ton of elderly people onboard. Can I hear a Bingo anyone??? The other half of the ship was full of South Americans on vacation (mostly Chileans and Brazilians). I could probably count all the people our age with my fingers. It turned out to be really fun though, doing activities with the older generations like early morning trivia and mini-golf. It would be really funny when they would say things like, “What are kids like you doing here anyways?” Then you’d try and explain the whole I’m-going-to-school-down-here-and-I’m-on-break shpeal. Some got it. Others didn’t.

And then there was the food. It was from heaven! Remember before this trip I had been eating dry bread and beans and rice. When I stepped onto the ship it was like letting Templeton from Charlotte’s Web onboard. A cruise is a smorgasbord! "Food all around, on the ground!" These words were ringing in my ears. We all got very used to room service too. I believe the ship staff got a little mad at us because we were constantly ordering food. Everyday I was full. But I kept eating! I knew that the dream would end after a couple of weeks.

So that’s pretty much the fun in a nutshell. Below are some of the pictures from our cruise. By the way, you really do gain weight on a cruise. And if you don’t exercise it off, you will feel like a blimp!

We saw some Penguins near Puntas Arenas, Chile

Entering the Beagle Channel

Going through the channelThis was one of my favorite Beagle Channel glaciersThe port of Ushuaia The Falkland Islands. Check out the Union Jack!
And then we swung through Montevideo, Uruguay